Today you’re going to realize you have the superpower to change the past.
Well, not exactly change the past, but certainly how you remember it. And if you think about it, that’s all the past is: a memory.
You’ve heard me say in previous Mind Shift Monday emails that the past does not exist. And it’s true on many levels.
(Take a deep breath. This is going to get a little heavy, but stick with me.)
In physics, time is not an absolute. It’s not a fixed thing that exists on its own. You experience time as linear, but that’s just how your brain makes sense of reality. There’s no “past” floating somewhere that you can revisit. It exists only in your memory.
Philosophically, the past is just a concept. It’s the story you tell yourself about what came before your current reality. It’s not real in the way the present is. It only feels real because you keep recalling it.
Neurologically, the past exists as electrical impulses in your brain that only come alive when you try to remember the past. And even then, you’re not experiencing the past, you’re experiencing your brain’s present-moment reconstruction of it.
Ok, mental sprint over. Lol
But I want to hit this point hard.
If the past isn’t a fixed reality but a mental concept, how much power do you really want to give it?
I’m not saying the feelings you have about the past aren’t real. I’m not saying the pain or trauma it caused isn’t real.
What I am saying is that you have the power to reshape how you recall your past so it helps you grow instead of holding you captive.
Here’s the thing about memory…
Memory Isn’t the Truth—It’s a Best Guess
Every time you recall a memory, you’re not remembering the original event. You’re remembering the last time you thought about it. Like a game of telephone, details change each time you relive it in your mind.
Your brain prioritizes efficiency over accuracy, filling in gaps, distorting details, and amplifying emotions based on what feels most relevant.
That’s why painful memories feel so vivid and hard to shake. Each time you replay them, you reinforce the strongest emotions tied to them, signaling to your brain that they’re important and should be kept fresh.
Even if you don’t mean to, reliving hurt over and over tells your brain not to forget it. And as the details start to fade, your brain doesn’t just make things up randomly. It fills in the blanks with whatever matches the emotion tied to that memory. So if it was a painful experience, chances are your brain is making it feel even worse over time.
Here’s how to make your memories work for you, not against you.
1- Your Brain Thinks It’s Now
When you recall a painful memory, your brain doesn’t know the difference between remembering and living it. It triggers the same emotional and physiological response. That means every time you replay a painful event, your body experiences the stress all over again.
Shift your focus to the present. Changing your environment, practicing grounding techniques, or even engaging your senses, like noticing a sound or texture, can help disrupt the memory loop and bring you back to the now.
2- Reframe It to Change It
Your brain isn’t just storing memories, it’s always interpreting them. The meaning you attach to a past event shapes how it affects you today. If you see a mistake as a failure, it will always feel like one. But if you see it as a lesson, your brain will start to rewire what that memory means to you.
Change the way you tell the story. Instead of replaying what went wrong, focus on what you learned or how you grew from it. Your brain believes the meaning you give your memories. Give difficult memories from the past a new meaning that helps you grow.
3- Starve Pain of Attention
The more you recall a memory, the stronger it gets. But the opposite is also true. Memories you stop reinforcing begin to fade. This doesn’t mean ignoring or repressing your past. It means choosing not to relive painful experiences on repeat, keeping them as fresh as the day they happened.
Acknowledge the memory, then shift your mental energy toward the present and future. The less time you spend feeding old wounds, the weaker their grip becomes. Your brain is always forming new pathways, make sure they lead somewhere that serves you.
4- Gratitude Rewrites the Past
Gratitude doesn’t change the past, but it changes how your brain stores it. Studies show that practicing gratitude increases activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain responsible for emotional regulation and perspective shifts. Over time, this rewires your brain to recall what you gained rather than just what you lost.
If a painful memory still weighs on you, ask yourself what strengths you learned from that experience or how it positively influenced where you are today. Even the smallest silver lining can loosen the emotional grip of a bad situation, giving you space for healing.
5- Create a New Pattern
Your brain loves habits, even in the way you think. If you keep revisiting the same painful memories, your brain defaults to them because they’ve become the path of least resistance. But just like any habit, it can be replaced.
When an old memory comes up, don’t try to fight it, redirect it. Focus on something that strengthens you. Maybe it’s a time you were proud of yourself, a valuable lesson you’ve learned, or even a small moment that made you feel good. Make positivity the new “easy” path your brain defaults to.
You have more control over your past than you think.
You’ve heard the adage, you can’t change the past, right? True—kind of. You may not be able to change what happened, but you can change how you remember it, what you take from it, and how it defines your present and future.
You have a superpower, my friend. Let’s put it into action…
Action Step
This week is going to be a lot of self-reflection. However, I want you to do it in a way that challenges how you currently remember something. Even if you’re absolutely sure it happened exactly as you recall, try to look at it from a new angle.
1- Pick One Memory to Rethink
Choose a memory that still carries weight for you. It doesn’t have to be the most painful one. Just choose something that lingers in your mind. Write down how you usually recall it, focusing on the emotions it brings up.
2- Find a Different Angle
Ask yourself what else could be true of the moment you’re remembering. Did you learn something because of that moment? Did it lead to growth or set you on a new path that got you to where you are today? Rewriting the story doesn’t mean denying what happened, it means choosing how you carry it forward so it no longer has control over you.
3- Practice the New Reality
Each time this memory comes up, catch yourself. Instead of falling into old thought patterns, recall the new perspective you created. Say it out loud if you have to. The more you reinforce this new version, the more your brain will adopt it as the truth. Remember, your brain believes what you tell it to, so choose what you’re telling it with intention.
Letting go of the past is hard. Healing from it is even harder. It’s something everyone struggles with, so don’t feel frustrated when it doesn’t happen overnight.
The important thing is to recognize that your memories do not have the power to hold you hostage anymore.
No matter how painful your past was, you made it through. You’re here, today, doing the work to create a life you love. Not in spite of what you’ve been through, but because you refuse to let it define you.
And because of that, I have no doubt that you’re right where you need to be. Be proud of who you are, a product of a past that can never keep you down.
