I want to talk to you about some hidden traps that are standing between you and your happiness.
What’s Stealing Your Happiness?
Some of the biggest obstacles to happiness aren’t obvious. They’re subtle and could be steering your life without you even knowing it.
These hidden traps quietly anchor you to stress, dissatisfaction, self-doubt, and a life that feels out of alignment. Let’s shine a light on five surprising barriers to happiness and explore how you can start releasing their influence.
The Decision Tax
Unmade decisions, even tiny ones like what to eat for dinner or what to wear tomorrow, drain mental energy and sap clarity. Studies show the average adult makes over 35,000 decisions daily, and unresolved ones create lingering mental tension. This “decision fatigue” reduces willpower and productivity.
Start by batching small decisions and creating routines to free your mind for what truly matters.
Fun fact: This is why Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, wears the same outfit every day, and why Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, famously did the same. Simplifying small choices frees up mental energy for more important decisions. Think about how you can incorporate routines like this to save your focus for what really matters.
The Approval Anchor
Prioritizing being liked over being authentic ties you to the expectations of others. While people-pleasing might feel rewarding in the moment, studies show it leads to higher levels of stress, anxiety, and burnout.
Flip the script by focussing on relationships where you feel valued for your true self. Your worth isn’t something to earn. It’s already yours.
Fun fact: Studies show that people who focus on authenticity are not only happier but are also seen as more likable and trustworthy by others. Ironically, being yourself might be the best way to be liked!
The Nostalgia Trap
Focusing on “the good old days” can anchor you in the past, keeping you from fully embracing the present. While nostalgia can be comforting, studies show it’s a double-edged sword. Romanticizing the past can create feelings of dissatisfaction with your current life.
Reflect on what made those memories special and channel that inspiration into building meaningful moments for today.
Fun fact: Nostalgia is known to boost mood and increase feelings of connection. Studies from the University of Southampton show it even strengthens resilience during tough times. Use it wisely though! Let fond memories motivate you to create an even better present.
The Next Thing Syndrome
Always chasing your next big win keeps you tethered to future outcomes instead of appreciating the present. This constant “what’s next” mindset is tied to your brain’s need for novelty, which studies show can cause burnout and unhappiness. Instead, focus on building meaning into your daily actions, even the little ones you often do on autopilot.
Happiness lives in the here and now, not in the future. The here and now is the only thing that’s real.
Fun fact: According to research, our brains are wired to experience a “hedonic treadmill,” where the excitement of achieving a goal fades quickly, prompting the cycle of chasing the next big thing. You can break this loop by practicing mindfulness and focusing on the gratitude you have for where you are today, not just where you’re heading.
The Emotional Backpack
Bottling up emotions like guilt, frustration, or worry, especially those resulting from past traumas, is like carrying an invisible backpack full of bricks. You can’t see it, but it weighs you down. Research shows suppressing emotions can increase stress, spike anxiety, and even cause physical symptoms like muscle tension.
Acknowledging your emotions isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s the start of healing. Journaling, therapy, or an open conversation can help you release the weight of the past and create space for emotional freedom.
Fun fact: Carrying unacknowledged feelings or unresolved emotional weight from past traumas can increase cortisol levels. Elevated cortisol not only leads to mental fatigue but can also trigger weight gain by encouraging cravings for comfort foods. So, if your jeans feel tighter, maybe it’s not the pizza—it’s the baggage!
More fun facts: According to the American Psychological Association, emotional processing not only reduces anxiety but it literally rewires your brain for resilience and happiness.
Research from Stanford University also shows that guided emotional release, especially with a professional or mentor, significantly boosts the chances of long-term healing. Having someone who understands the weight you’re carrying can make all the difference.
If you’re ready to start making changes right now so you stop falling into these five unhappiness traps, here’s what you can do…
Action Step
Recognizing these five hidden traps is a great first step. Now, let’s dig a little deeper and see which ones might be quietly affecting your mindset. That’s the tricky thing about these traps, they often hide just below the surface of your awareness.
1) Spot the Traps
Write down a list of areas where you feel stuck, dissatisfied, or overwhelmed. Next to each, try to identify which of the five traps could be contributing. For example, feeling stuck in the past might point to The Nostalgia Trap. This will help you recognize patterns you might not have noticed.
2) Track Emotional Responses
Starting today, keep a small journal or note on your phone to track moments when you feel stressed, anxious, or unsure. Jot down what triggered the feeling and how you responded. Reviewing this will give you clues about hidden influences, like The Decision Tax or The Emotional Backpack.
3) Reflect and Take Action
Choose one trap you’ve identified as having the biggest impact on your happiness. Ask yourself what one small, specific action you can take this week to counter it.
For example, for The Decision Tax, you can choose an area of your life in which you can simplify a daily decision by making it always the same. Or, for The Next Thing Syndrome, commit to daily gratitude journaling or place a sticky note somewhere that reminds you of how much you’ve already accomplished. You get the idea.
As you become more aware of the little mental obstacles that are slowing down your journey to happiness, you’ll be able to make intentional changes that clear the path forward.
And remember, nobody is happy all the time. So don’t feel like you’re taking steps backward when you have an off day. The point is to truly be happy, not just fake it.
Here’s to your true happiness, my friend!
